sarah harmer

last night i had the supreme pleasure of being entertained by miss sarah harmer in an intimate setting with a barely half-filled venue.  i had been waiting for that moment for over ten years! i allowed myself to fully indulge in the groupie excitement, and as it turns out, she has the ability to affect others in that demeanor-altering fan-crazed way.

i was sitting in my "lady friend"'s office (aka my counselor, but my ego has still not accustomed itself to allow me to speak those words - this was noted once, and only once, for clarity purposes), and she asked me what a strong woman was to me.  my response led her to believe that i only see heavier or homely women as strong in character and person, as they reject and are not preoccupied with the trends of appearances.  this was partially true, however it occurred to me last night that sarah harmer was the ultimate embodiment of a strong woman to me, and there is one aspect of her that makes me feel so connected to this belief; she is not afraid of her dark sides and her moods.  she embraces them - herself - and she turns them into music for the masses.  she is not afraid to show it, or be heard.  she is dark and stormy, but accepts it, and can laugh at it...as though there is nothing that needs to change.   and there isn't anything that NEEDS to change.  no pressing issue nagging her to be a better person.  no childhood-fear and lack of parental-love guilt looming over saying "you're not good enough. change now!".  (i guess that's a glimpse into my own head...) she smiles and nods, makes jokes at the lack of hope in her music, and graciously strums away on my hearts strings. 

i wholeheartedly agree with sarah and can relate to her that my mind is also "filled with sour grapes".  i don't mean it to affect those around me all so much, and it has fueled me to do some fairly substantial living and out-crying.  when my moods and air about me are giving and loving and stem from a place of loving for those around me - i do love myself.  however, when my aura shifts to what i call "the dark side", it can seem like there is no good in the world, and i have no love for myself, and therefore don't believe that anyone could possibly care for me (apparently this is some sort of self-worth complex that needs to be resolved - hence my "lady friend").  i have learned to do good with this force, and have used it to do good things for the betterment of human kind, and have striven for the preservation of our natural earth and its remaining untouched landscapes.  this force is a part of me that i was born into, and was "learned" to me by my atypical group of breeders and childcare providers.

anyways...sarah and i are both lean a little to the not-so-bright side of the road, but in the eloquent words of kahlil gibran

"If I accept the sunshine
and warmth,
then I must also accept
the thunder and lightning."

follow this link to a video produced by another sarah fan to her song "dogs and thunder".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dohKucQ2hYE

thanks for listening,
xo
t